Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy

8.25 per hour

2012-01-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

I have been super disappointed. I have been extremely disappointed to see graphic design jobs at $8.25 per hour. How in the world do you go to college, get a degree, and then get a job at $8.25 per hour? I mean, think about it, rent is $500 a month, utils are $200 a month, let's assume you take the bus on a pass for $60 per month, and you get a roommate that contributes $300 a month. Including your roommate, you make $1455. Subtract your expenses, and you make $695 a month, assuming that you also get 40 hours a week. (and right now, if you get full time hours, you're sitting better than most!)

Now, you have student loans, but let's assume you get an economic forbearance repayment plan. That's $55 per month.

You now have $640 left.

This is assuming you can find an apartment for $500 (last time I looked, I couldn't).
This is assuming you can find a roommate. (last time I looked, I couldn't.)
I do take the bus. I have to alot myself an extra 2 hours a day for the bus.
My student loans require $260 a month, because according to them I can afford it.
Last time I checked, I was begging for 40 hours a week. They promised 25 hours. They sent me home early, and I got 15 hours.

How the HELL am I supposed to afford to LIVE? I don't even have KIDS.

This is the scenario for most people I know. I am fortunately NOT in this situation, because I have had LUCK. But, there are many other, too many others, that are looking at this scenario.

I dare Rick Perry, Bachman, Newt Gingrech, and Romney. I dare you:

2011-11-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

In the quest to find new housing the past three months, I have come to a big realization. I went through two cities on the east coast this month, one in texas and several in the north (before finally picking salt lake city) and it was amazing to me that I hadn’t realized the recession until now. I mean, it has FLATTENED me. The country is in poor shape.

I have been hit by the recession: no more making 60k a year creating websites…good luck designers, if someone offers you 35k, you’re sitting pretty.

But for the most part, I have been extremely fortunate. In my quest to save more to make more (I DO have a business in Colorado as well) I was striving to keep my housing under $800 per month.

Wow.

Mind you, to afford $800 per month, you have to make $12 per hour, which is MUCH less than most are making right now. (That’s right folks, if you think Gov. Perry creates jobs, he does, but they only pay $7.75 per hour). Most of us don’t have great credit, but if you have a 650 or higher, at $12 per hour, you qualify for $800 per month. That means you make $2400 a month (before taxes). If you need a 2 bedroom in a good neighborhood…you’ll never find it.

$800 is officially slumming it.

So I dare politicians to go find an apartment on $800 per month. You need a 2 bedroom, you have a dog, and you want it to be in a neigborhood where your tires won’t be slashed in the middle of the night, and it needs to be in a city where you can find full-time work at $12 per hour, or at least 2 part-time jobs that equal this.

Like I said, I’ve been fortunate to be able to up my budget so I have a car when I wake up in the morning, and it still has a car radio attached. But most families can’t afford to. I wish sometimes...that I could save the world. Or at least a few people.

Be Like Everyone Else:

2011-11-11T21:27:00.000-05:00

Just like with all websites, I strive again and again to differentiate the business I am working with…and time and time again, it backfires. I’m not quite sure why everyone has to be afraid of well…being different.

The level of my career right now has businesses coming to me that are at a stand-still. I’m just the right price for them to afford: I’m a little better than most, and a lot cheaper than JWT. They come to me with the same story: they need a makeover, can you please help me.

I’m on board.

Then, a week into designing, they are making changes that go against my every nerve…but I mean, c’mon. Why should I know any better? I just studied marketing, graphic design, journalism, have two degrees in this stuff, and well…you’re absolutely right. YOU pay my check. “Can you make ‘request more info’ into ‘contact us’?” Yeah. I can. But every other page out there says ‘contact me’. My God, don’t you want to be a little different?

I guess not.

I suppose you make your money because you’re great at marketing and copy? I guess I make my money because you write the paychecks, and I shut my mouth.

When I Graduate College...

2011-04-08T12:31:00.000-04:00

I am vastly disappointed with the type of students graduating from college.

Now that I am in a position where I interview, hire, fire, direct, and manage...as well as peruse subcontractors, freelancers, and search for someone with the capacity, dedication, and knowledge as well as talent to help me in the field of advertising, marketing, and website design, I find the the field is...small.

And as a professional who owns and operates an advertising company, who receives, and I know this is a small number, about 6 calls a week about developing a website for a small business, I have to wear many hats, and understand that when people call in they are asking for a graphic designer.

Yes, a graphic designer.

So, I'll tip my hat to the advertising agency that understands that a graphic designer is NOT a website designer, who is NOT a developer (PHP and front-end design are extremely different), but what are the chances of YOU, the new graduate, getting a job at an advertising agency who will say "YOU there, the new graduate, the graphic designer, you don't need to know those other things..." because, it's not going to happen.

Nowadays, I hear SO many students in their junior and senior year who have no clue that they will have to be a hybrid: as a graphic designer, visual information specialist, or website designer, you will need to know just about everything to do with marketing collateral. As a design director I need to develop press releases, find content for the websites I push, do the research myself like a good journalist would, take the pictures and the video myself to cut costs for the company, as well as design a fantastic website that works complete with database management, mySQL, password protected pages, PHP that I can create in 5 minutes or less, design a 32 page show magazine in one week, and by the way...get paid half of what I should get paid to do everything, PLUS answer the phone, take my own trash out, and by the way, balance a boss, coworkers, personalities, and fight for good design standards. Oh, and btw...the deadline was yesterday.

Let me just tell you know, I have two degrees. I've been in the field for 6 years. I'm mid-career. I'm ten years older than a college graduate. (okay, not ten...7?) And for those of you who think that you're going to skirt by and NOT learn these things, well you're setting yourself for a waitressing job or a retail management position.

And your professors? Talk about going SLACK. If you can't handle producing a two page layout mock-up in an hour or less, get outa the business NOW. I need to have a website mockup, complete with 6-10 pages done in two days, and I need to have matching collateral done SAME day. That includes business cards, 4 page brochures, the cover of a matching show magazine, and have it all priced out as to how much it's going to cost our budget. And forget the lingo...I need to completely know how to explain this all to someone who has NO idea what 4/4 color means, full bleed, 80lb stock with UV cover...he just wants to know if it's going to mail cheap, look nice, have a glossy sheen to the cover and not bend in the mailbox. Oh, did I mention that the whole point of me being a design director and getting a degree in this field meant NOT having to worry about these things, focusing on good design, userability, and well...nevermind.

And oh, did I mention that your professors give you LOTS of leeway when it comes to deadlines? Did I mention that you'll have to send out about 50 resumes a week, have an online link to your work, and you're in competition with say...300 people? One ad on craigslist I posted for a freelance web designer to assist me in one day got over 120 emails. And...did I mention, I was only offering $10 per hour?

The best form of marketing

2011-01-07T21:18:00.002-05:00

I recently had an individual tell me he was fantastic and an expert in marketing.

While I personally am pretty darn good in marketing, I will be the first to admit that I'm not the best and there will always be better.

This man accredited the success of his business to his marketing smarts. He was not entirely wrong in his statement. While he may have taken a few classes in marketing to understand theory, I could see right away that there was a lot of room for suggestion: but he wouldn't hear any of it. (even though he was asking!)

How did he improve his business then? That was his challenging question.

His business is thriving for a couple different reasons. And yes, one of them is his marketing. While his skills are exceptional, one thing he has down is the best kind of marketing you can do is quality product and services. If you perform your job the best...and outbest the rest in your area, then word of mouth will spread. Your marketing is your customer service.

Marketing is an extremely valuable tool for your business, but don't underestimate the quality of your name and brand. If you do a good job and provide excellence to your customers, they'll come back for me and spread the word far and wide: so yes, my answer is that he is good in marketing.

His technical understandings and skill of collateral are a little skewed and hazy, and while I don't have the time or the privilege of reviewing his knowledge and skill level...(and trust me, there is room for suggestion to push to the next level), his priorities are correct.

Be careful what you ask for in your job posting!

2011-01-06T22:33:00.000-05:00

I recently went on another interview where the interviewer kept asking me what I knew about PR. My answer to him was short and sweet: well sir, I went to school and got a degree in journalism.

He repeated his question, and I quickly expanded my answer. Perhaps he just wanted a bit more? Well, as part of my journalism curriculum, I had to study media and press releases, advisories, how to write for radio, newspaper, magazine, and television. I also had to hold a press conference, wrangle the media and answer questions professionally and become the face of a company.

His response? I didn't look like I had the right personality for PR. Other candidates came in and were bubbly, laughing, always looked happy, and had the right 'face' for the company. He even further pressed it into "you could just see they were starry"

Now, I'm not an ugly person by any means, and I'm not overweight and grotesque, but there's a reason why I didn't go for anchor. I'm not unpleasant, have held seminars and workshops, speak fairly well to the public and have even run a few tradeshows and expos. I thought I knew PR pretty well backed up with the fact that I been a point person for radio and news releases, prepared businesses for how to approach advertising in television and radio, and...well, I could keep on going, but what's the point?

My response? I thanked him for great conversation and walked outa there! So many employers have NO IDEA what marketing, advertising, and PR is and how to separate it all. He didn't need a PR person...he needed someone to be a walking advertisement at events and parties he held. He needed someone to literally be a friendly face for his company...

Well...it was a waste of an hour, especially because I had already put in a 9.5 hour workday with no lunch break, two venti's, and a headache.

Employers, you say you want qualified candidates and are sick of interviewing people who aren't a good fit? Make sure you know what you're asking for!

It is NOT an employer's market

2011-01-06T21:51:00.002-05:00

I recently started looking for a full-time position now that I’m tired of trying to solicit business to make my own business run. I think it's time to work and just moonlight my abilities as a consultant...

Now, I’ve been on both sides of the fence of the interviewer and interviewee position. And it’s been an interesting one. I’ve been a working professional for over ten years now, and I’ve had roughly 5-6 years of experience in marketing and advertising in some form.

Today, I just finished the interview from hell…and not because anyone in the room was rude…although in retrospect I’m sure the entire hour conversation of the second interview seemed rude…but in honest, neither side of the party could communicate and ask the right questions.

Because I didn’t want to be assertive or aggressive, I tailored my answers to how I would handle their job. I’m good at taking direction, and I’m good at giving direction. Because of this I’m in a strangely unique position. I don't HAVE to take a job like most employees in this market. And boy oh boy, are employers aware that they have the upper hand.

A business that I applied to has a niche business that is in a growing market: in fact it's growing at about 7% a year since 2007 and the prediction is it has no place to go but up. He has five locations and wants to expand nationally. What a great opportunity for me! This is perfect: he wants to develop a marketing department so he grows at the right pace, while making profits.

To make a long story short, we were two bulls in a very small closet of a room. It was hot, there were three of us in there, and we all had a point to make.

I am in firm appreciation of assertive employees but he made it very clear to me I should be thanking my lucky stars they called me in. I was compared to 6 others he interviewed, in which I was very clearly told I didn't have any reason to be confident in who I was or what I was capable of doing for him. He made a comment that the other employees gushed their appreciation of the opportunity, while

I questioned him and repeated several times that I wanted this to be the RIGHT fit for both of us. I'm not interested in the highest paying job...there's nothing worse than having just a JOB. We eventually start to seek careers. And frankly, it's exhausting filling out all the applications and emails. I want to make sure I'm going into a place where I fit in. The last thing I want is in four months, I regret the position I'm in, struggle with the other personalities, and I'm secretly applying for another position.

When I interviewed before...and I was the interviewer, I often times sought a person who had no problem being up front with me. As someone in the advertising and marketing field, people who are frank are the best fit. The winner is the client, and the more people who throw out an idea, the better the account is...and the better the money and respect. The last thing I want is someone who has great ideas but never speaks up because they are afraid of being ridiculed, teased, or worse: not appreciated.

While I agree that aggressiveness is not the path to winning the hearts of your future bosses...remember, the idea is teamwork and an aggressive person in not a team player, assertiveness IS the path to getting a job done faster, better, and more efficiently.

TechRepublic columnist Nick Corcodilos said in an interview: "...a smart candidate isn’t asking to be hired. She’s assessing an opportunity. A manager who regards a candidate as some sort of beggar is revealing questionable intentions."

Wow. I agree. While it was hard for me before to really point this out, he sums it up extremely well. As an employer at one point, I am hiring someone I believe SHOULD be able to get the job done. And employer has a need, and they are looking at me to fulfill that need. It is within my every right to challenge the interviewer to tell me what this position will really be like: not smile and nod and just wait for the salary offer. Especially at this level of employment: generally a director or coordinator; I am expected to be a decision-maker. (It's what I would expect!)

I would think that an employer would look at me and appreciate the fact that I don't want to waste his time or mine with an ill-fitting job where I am unhappy because I feel like I am doing more work than needs to be, getting paid less than I should, and out looking again. I would be more disgruntled if he wanted me to be passive and just take all of his suggestions without giving my opinion...again, you hired me because you believe I'm an expert at what I do...right?

Do you Know Your Target Market? - By Liz Steyer

2010-03-15T13:04:00.001-04:00

Target Market

   One of the most important things you need to consider when owning a business is who you want your customers to be. Since SHOCK is based out of East Lansing, we will use that area as an example. Michigan State University has an undergraduate population of over 45,000 students. These students will be your target market (http://www.entrepreneur.com/encyclopedia/term/82498.html). Most of them live right on campus or in the surrounding communities. Young adults like to spend money, and you want them to spend their money at your business. What do you need to do to ensure that you will have business? What do you do when the majority of students, faculty and staff go home for the summer?
    East Lansing is just an example of what kind of target market a business will look to. When looking for a target market, you need to focus on demographics (http://www.marketresearch.com/browse.asp?categoryid=81&g=1). This will help you define things like age, gender, ethnicity, interests, etc. of your ideal customer.
    Here are 5 ways to find customers:
   1. Make a list of traits your customer might have.
  Start with five traits. For example, you might come up with something like this:
  My customer:

Is between 18 and 30
Lives within 10 miles of my business
Travels rarely, but when he/she does, it is on the weekend
Is single (unmarried)
Uses public transportation more often than driving

    2. Decide how you want to reach these people. (ads in the paper, billboards, online ads)
   Since your customer likes to ride public transportation, there's a good chance they have time to kill while waiting for the bus or while commuting to school or work. Maybe you want to advertise in the local paper in this case. They are also of a young group so they use the Internet a lot. Use Facebook to advertise your business by creating a page and looking for potential customers.

    3. Work with an established business that has a similar taget market to find potential customers.
  This is called a host-beneficiary relationship (http://www.entrepreneur.com/startingabusiness/startupbasics/startupbasicscolumnistbradsugars/article185880.html). Perhaps the established business will advertise your business by giving special offers from your business to their customers. This will ensure your business gaining customers, and the established business can count on you in the future and will also be seen as an older sibling of sorts for the new business.

    4. Offer incentives. Coupons or loyalty programs are good ways to lure potential customers to your business.
  If you are just opening your doors, hand out invitations for the "Grand Opening." Curious people will attend to get a feel of your business. If you are already open for business and need more customers, offer your current customers special benefits so they can use word-of-mouth marketing (http://womma.org/main/) to attract even more customers. With your ads in the newspaper, run a coupon that isn't worth a too much but that would garner interest.

    5. Stand out among all the business signs lining the streets. You are going to have to be unique in order to attract customers. Decide what you can do to be "unique" in the eyes of your customers.
   You will need a Unique Selling Proposition (USP) (http://www.thestreet.com/story/10405811/seven-ways-to-make-your-business-stand-out.html) to make your business stand out compared to others. Decide what you want your customers to know you for.

Say what you have to say: first

2010-02-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

The INVERTED PYRAMID: Short and sweet, keep it neat, and start with what is most important. Oh yeah.

Today, I had the privilege of attending a dress rehearsal for Sen. Levin in East Lansing, Michigan. Senator Levin is coming to the Composite Vehicle Research Center, an MSU facility that I've been working with on a design and photography level for over half a year now, that researches materials for the military.

Something that I noticed is their crunch for time...and really, why say more than you have to: at any time? About a month ago, the staff at the CVRC had some issues with their presentations running over time, and really for someone who doesn't speak the language, going OVER-TIME really isn't any fun.

So get to the point already. Something journalists remember is that most readers don't make it past the first paragraph. In reality, your first sentence has to have ALL the information. Your first paragraph should get all of your main points, and everything else should go in the order of most important to least important. Some of those presentations I listened to didn't even get to finish because they ran over. Imagine if there was something very important at the end?

Researchers and presenters, here is a tip! Short and sweet, keep it neat, and start with what is most important. Oh yeah. Add some pictures!

Going Mobile - The Joys of Telecommuting

2010-02-08T11:26:00.000-05:00

While I don't have seamless phone transfer, or for that matter, a stationary server to have my files ready to go, I'm seriously thinking about one. I thought at first not having an office would be a problem. I'm finding that it's actually a blessing. In a time when office space is a luxury, profits are low, and overhead is a nightmare, working from home, and meeting with employees and interns once a week does just fine. Albeit, we are young and tech savvy, and we are confident that we can get the job done despite a set office and desk, yes, there are some disadvantages.

Without an office, your focus on getting your work done while the dog is nudging your leg with a squeaky toy really does pull on your concentration. Not to mention, when the cell phone rings, sometimes the squeaker goes off so rapidly that the person on the other end really begins to question if they called the right number. Yes, I cannot keep a watchful eye on my interns or employees and make sure they are getting their job done timely. And yes, there is a bit of trust that goes into a brick and mortar location.

However, I save about 1500 a month not having a space. I save another 500 by not having to have utils, phone, or internet. I also save gas of having to drive to an office. So, what do I have? An extra two thousand a month to keep in my pocket.

Not to mention, I can go to work in my fuzzy slippers.

I will say, my interns feel they don't have to be 'on target' 100% of the time because they are working from home. Cracking the whip is hard. I tell them a deadline....add on three to six days. I ask and well...I wait.

BUT, I can't guarantee that if I had an office, it would be any better. And with some new online options that I'm looking into, things like Jungle Disk, and some other online file sharing and storage, who knows.

I will say that the benefits outweigh the problems. I am definitely more creative at home. Though I may get more nitty gritty done in an office, the real deal is that I produce some of my better pieces when I have the dog whining, the tv whirring, my fuzzy slippers on, and my itunes blasting...all at the same time.

VIDEO SAMPLES (2)

2010-01-07T15:58:00.001-05:00

WHAT MAKES SHOCK DIFFERENT

2009-12-04T11:48:00.000-05:00

We are completely student based: our interns are not white-box interns. They are learning EVERY ASPECT of a media and marketing business.

We are pushing the envelope on LANSING itself: fun, fresh, and forward right? Why shouldn't businesses come here? WHY aren't we attracting more people? Where are the jobs? Maybe someday SHOCK will be employing thirty people.

BUZZ is what it's all about, right? SHOCK yourself...and your clients. I should write a book: ways to market your business for $100 or less per month.

PUT FAITH IN YOUR STUDENTS: really. I can't vouch for all of them, but if you dig a little, you might find some silver and gold.

I only spent $140 to start this business. I'm urging businesses to throw out their marketing and business plans. Think outside the box. Entrepreneurs unite!

SHOCK started a business when the economy was at its worst...and when I personally was financially in my worst. If you can't find it, make it yourself.

WE DO IT DIFFERENT: literally. We charge by the project, NOT the hour. No hidden fees anymore. Really. Like the Meijer of Design. Have your own team? We'll come in and SHOW THEM how to be more creative thinkers.

YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER: and we'll teach you how to drink. Most companies hire a marketing and PR firm to REBRAND themselves and it doesn't work. Talk about wasting 6 figures. We tell you, consult, and show you what rebranding it...THE PERSONALITY of your business.

SHOCK is building the future of LANSING, and the future of America: we understand that the next generation of clients and consumers are using the internet to shop, think, and relate. We understand interaction is important. We KNOW that if we want to keep the talent here, we have to give them a reason: we trying.

What SHOCK does for Interns

2009-12-04T11:22:00.000-05:00

I have gotten these questions relentlessly over the past two days:
WHAT makes SHOCK different?
WHAT do we plan on doing for students?
HOW is our internship different than others?

I haven't really utilized my blog for business. My blog is my personally diary. But I think it's time to start using this thing to sort a few things out myself.

I've had a lot of struggle in the past week trying to figure out how OTHER companies are successful with their interns, and why I am personally not a strong motivator. I watch a lot of other interns go through their jobs and are extremely content, and yet I am getting a strong vibe that mine are well - wondering what the heck they got themselves into.

Most interns go in to a position and they are given a specific role: you will be making the postcards. You will be answering the phone. You will attend meetings, but we really won't use your ideas. At SHOCK media I do something a bit different. My interns are taught to be independent thinkers. They are taught to be leaders and entrepreneurs in the industry. Internships can offer valuable insight into a particular field or career.

Another thing I want to bring up is the 'white box' syndrome. In the past week I have had several students approach me and say 'I just didn't agree to do that'. Let me say, if I had EVER said that to any of my other past employers, I wouldn't be where I was today. I wouldn't have kept my jobs. I would have been laughed at behind my back.

In today's economy, all of our jobs are hybrid positions: you have to do just about anything and everything to convince your employers they made the right decision to bring you on.

I also want to curb the idea of 'labels'. When I first started out in manager positions, it was always about the TITLE of my position and moving up in food chain. In marketing, advertising, and public relations, there is a guaranteed chance that you will be doing a little bit of everything unless you go to work for a company that has 500 or more employees. When I asked during the interview process what people thought of MARKETING, ADVERTISING, and PUBLIC RELATIONS, they all had different answers. But they all said that each position was defined individually. It really isn't. PR is event planning. Advertising is communication through art. (Perhaps we should call it art communication?) Marketing is the search for more clients: whether it's cold calling, developing a strategy for commercial timing, setting up an email campaign...

Any business will tell you they have different names for all these positions. And I guarantee you, if you can do it all, come up with new ideas, act on those ideas independently, be confident, and have the experience....you are a shoo-in.

As time wears down

2009-09-25T09:52:00.001-04:00

I've been a little remiss. My apologies. It's been awhile since I've been on here. The last notable blog transmission was when Daisy died.

I went back recently and visited her burial site. I do miss her. And it's funny. Sometimes I don't think about her, and other times, I really do miss her to the point that I feel like crying. I think about the way she was quiet and subtle, the way she put her chin on my knee and just turned her eyes to mine, and the way she always came in from outside, sat down and just nudged my hand and waited to be cuddled.

But, time has moved forward and sadly she is not here.

Gunner, her full brother, is starting to age quickly. The gray on his face has overtaken his snout, and his shoulders, and he moves a little slower these days. The other night, he laid in bed and didn't want to jump on my big bed to lay close. He just lifted his head in acknowledgment, and rested his chin back down on his bed.

When I called to let him outside, he didn't bother. He was too comfortable.

Other days, he's playing and climbing on the dog agility set like he's two, and there's no stopping him.

And some days, he's climbed into the bathtub and lays down.

It's a little said and disappointing to see him go. It reminds me that Daisy would have been doing the same thing, getting older and aging, and it would have been tough for me to witness that as well. I hope Gunner has a few more years in him for me to really give him a good life.

Image is Everything

2009-07-29T09:05:00.000-04:00

In a day where social media is king...

How is it possible that businesses do not have a website?

I had a wonderful coffee shop meeting with a woman that is becoming a good friend and fun business person to know and bounce ideas back and forth from. She personally has a webpage. But her printing company that she works closely with: does not.

This really got me thinking. When it came time to go through bids that had gone out for a recent design project I just finished, I sifted in my mind through the decisions to really put a business at the top of my list, and the reason they went to the bottom.

In reality, those that did not have a website didn't even make the pile. And those who had a website that looked like their neighbors 7 year old made it, well... they made the bottom.

Out of the 9 different companies I accepted bids from, 2 did not have a website. How is it, that they didn't even take the time to represent their business appropriately?

When I talked to my friend, she said that websites were a bit intimidating. Well, that can be true. Especially the maintenance and cost of having an outside company handle this. But when you don't have a website at all, it says a lot about your company. If you can't take the time to put something on the web for me to bookmark for future reference, you'll be lost to me forever.

Likewise, there are some sites that I've seen that make me think your business is an entire joke! A backyard business that's run out of your garage in your spare time...and in some cases, this is far from the truth.

It doesn't need to flash, bling, or sing, but it does need to be clear and tell me about your business, where you are located, and how I can get a hold of you.

I want to see samples of what you've done if possible: or what you look like. Maybe what your facility looks like. It doesn't have to be rocket science.

Though it may be unfair, if you don't have a website, I consider that company unreputable. I find that company to lack substance and honestly...I find it difficult to take them seriously.

Beloved Best Friend

2009-07-09T08:19:00.001-04:00

Daisy, my beloved beagle of eight years, has finally been laid to rest. She went through just about everything with me. Daisy is survived by her full brother, Gunner, who also misses her terribly.

She officially passed away on Tuesday, July 7, 2009.

Daisy was faithful, obedient, and always gave 200% when asked to do something. She always gave unconditional love, and always forgave and forgot when I didn't live up to expectations.

Daisy unfortunately died after a short adventure, where she died close to home. She always was a bit sneaky, but she died doing what she loved, and I thank the vets at East Lansing Veterinary Clinic who did everything they could up to the last moment. Daisy lays at rest in Rockford, MI on Egypt Valley Road, in a beautiful fern and lily garden.

I also thank the priest at the church where she was hit, for coming out immediately. There is no question in my mind whether or not she could have been saved. Unfortunately, it had only been minutes, and it was her time to go.

I'll always remember her sweet disposition, and all the love she ever had. I hope, in her version of 'doggie heaven' she knows and understands how much love I had for her. It's hard to remember her, because all I think about is how much more I could have done for her. I think about looking harder, loving more, and being kinder. I wish I could tell her I'm sorry. But I know, wherever she is, she'll be waiting for me.

The Heart of a Volunteer

2009-06-24T09:25:00.001-04:00

We all know the economy right now just plain stinks. After visiting the Ingham County Animal Control Shelter I felt even more guilty and self-centered. Imagine my guilt when after visiting the shelter, I met two individuals that really went out of their way to make a difference.

With having to pull double-duty when it comes to school work, and two part time jobs, my Saturday afternoons are spent sleeping in, watching a movie or two, grabbing a large coffee from the corner Starbucks, and enjoying my couch.

For Cindy Maidens and Raymond Moore, their Saturday was helping out the shelter, picking out dogs to socialize, give some individual attention, and for Moore, actually finding a dog to take home and foster.

Cindy Maidens tries to volunteer once or twice a week. Her visits not in vain. Every dog she has helped to socialize has been successfully adopted out. "It's my way of giving back. It does good for both the shelter and me," Maidens said.

Raymond Moore feels similarly. "It's fun to see all the personalities of all the dogs that we foster," Moore said. "It's a labor of love."

As I watched the two different people play with the dogs, I caught a glimpse of the sad, teary eyes of those pooches. If only I could save them all. I was ready to march inside for a volunteer application and start volunteering.

But, at least I can justify myself a bit. Three of my dogs were shelter dogs, one of whom I nursed back to health after heartworm, and decided after all that love and attachment, I couldn't give him back.

I did get to go to the Lansing Capital Area Humane Society. Once they found out I was there doing a journalism project, their doors drifted a little tighter shut. I'm sure that if I walked back to my car with my camera and notepad and walked in sans-journalism-gear, they would have let me in.

I couldn't reach the directors for either shelter. In the end, my volunteers stepped up to the plate.

And, I'm glad they did.

observation

2009-06-14T00:10:00.001-04:00

Outside, the tree branches sway slowly with the breeze, the leaves green and yellow, the branches heaving greatly up and down with the weight of the wind. The sun shines down through the leaves, the tiny spaces that bear the significance of light. I can see the life that blooms outside, as the light sets behind the flurry of leaves tumbling and rippling on the branches.

I can feel the wind as it touches my fingertips, flipping through my hair. I can feel my chest grow tight, like my soul is preparing for its journey, for its departure. I can see the darkness of eve setting in, the grayness of the sky as rain prepares. Where is home for me? My home is not with my blood family. Where is home? It surely is not with the friends I have made on my journey. Where is my home? Where can I call the place for my soul to rest? Where is it that I can find the peace that we all seek when we are born? We are born unto this world through love, and yet we lose that love and have nothing but inner turmoil as we seek peace through death. Where is home? Where is this place? Where is my heart allowed to finally stop, and seek a place that it no longer has to bear the weight and burdens of life?

The limbs on the trees, so thick and steady, are beginning to slow, the swaying coming to a stop. The leaves are still rippling, but the limbs no longer move up and down. The trunk is steadfast, the limbs steadying. The rippling gets closer and closer, until it isn’t just a breeze touching over my skin, but it pierces the pores of my skin and into my body, finding its way through my blood. I may never find home.

Making mistakes

2009-06-13T17:01:00.001-04:00

If you don’t make mistakes. You’ll never know how to make things right.

To Believe

2009-06-13T17:00:00.001-04:00

Oh, what I would do to feel your lips against mine. Sweet, soft red lips placed gently upon my mouth, moving tenderly in sync with mine. What I would give to have your hand cupping my cheek gently, yours fingers sweeping my bangs off my forehead.

Oh, what I would give to have your hand on my hip as we fell asleep, your loins pressed against my bottom. What I would give to feel your body near mine. To have your heat when it was cold. To kick back the covers on a warm night, and hold each other.

What I would give to have your comfort and thoughts as I closed my eyes at night, to hear your voice as I fell asleep. To feel your breath on my face and neck.

What would I give, to lay next to you in the grass, our eyes closed, hand in hand as we soaked up the sun, just knowing that the other half of us were right there…to feel your fingers intertwined against mine, your shirt color rubbing against my chin.

What can I do anymore, when I feel trouble getting higher and higher. When I feel the bad times coming and coming, and there is nothing left to hold onto. When I spend day to day giving anything to make this easy, to leave all my troubles behind.

What would I give to feel your arms wrapped around me, to feel your heart beat solidly against my chest. To feel your breath on my neck as you whisper your love. What would I give to believe.

something to think about

2009-06-13T16:59:00.000-04:00

The notion of who you are, has nothing to do with your family, where you live, where you sleep, what you wear. You could lose all those things and fall into a dark void, if you don’t remember, who you are.

When you almost die, it sends you into a whole new realm of reflection, of self evaluation, to look for the place you were last happiest. Only to remember, that it wasn’t what you remember. And that maybe, it wasn’t really what made you the happiest…and that you are the happiest…where you are. And that maybe you are supposed to be, where you are meant to be.

disappointment

2009-06-03T13:38:00.001-04:00

Needless to say, I am very disappointed in a few people that shall remain nameless. How is it that 3/4 of the international world pays everything in full, and the American System of Credit, well, this is the system of richness?

Me and a friend were talking about living on credit (and obtaining net worth) versus having the money to purchase things in full. When i spoke of my parents having paid cash for everything, and their home was paid off in ten years, (and the point was that they had no fear of losing their home or cars to the bank) my friend told me this is a 'poverty mentality'. That people who are 'rich' purchase on credit because they can. Now, maybe I have it all wrong but isn't credit an allusion to wealth? Isn't paying things off with money you HAVE more of a indication of the wealth you have, and the amount of money sitting in your bank account a clue to how much wealth you have, versus how much CREDIT you have.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't that why our nation is doing so poorly...because we thought wealth meant credit...and as our credit collapses...

Since when does poverty mentality equal paying for things in cash? This must mean that everyone in the world does it wrong — because most people in other countries pay for things in cash or gold. And they don't believe in credit. (well, in the past ten years, I will say disappointingly that this has changed)

I actually read a newspaper article the other day that talked to the top 100 wealthiest people in the nation, and they all agreed that they never took out loans to become millionaires. They did it one step at a time. They purchased in full — they didn't extend themselves to lines of credit.

MUTTS

2009-06-01T12:44:00.000-04:00

"A Mutt is couture - the only one of its kind in the world, made especially for you." Issac Mizrahi, Fashion Designer

inspiration

2009-05-31T21:28:00.001-04:00

As of lately, I have felt completely uninspired. I am not sure if it is because of the fatigue and stress of the lack of money, having to pay rent, bills, and picking and choosing what I should pay for the month, but all motivation I had for independent projects has gone lackluster.

I started a novel that I was editing. I quit that. Felt the project was dead.

I started another novel. Well, it's 19 pages, and while I feel a 'fun' connection to it, it has no obvious thought or work put into it.

My bridal budget guide has gone completely unworked on. For some reason, opening up an indesign file without the thought of money to support my efforts really has casted a sour look upon things.

Have I completely sold myself out? Why is it that I really don't want to design anymore unless there is a paycheck attached to it? What happened to the days of just taking my camera out and shooting a pretty picture, a fire practice, or a sports event? What happened to those days when I thought I had a great novel idea for the next bestseller? Where did all those inspirations go?

Have I completely drowned myself in what everyone else wants? A quick buck and the hope of winning the lottery...from a one dollar ticket or having someone approach me and say here: for thirty thousand, write me a budget guide? I used to think I was better than this...

And yet, I sit here, starting at my jump drive with files and files and files of incomplete and ignored projects.

I meant well.

what makes you happy

2009-05-31T12:59:00.000-04:00

You have to do what makes you happy, and then find a mate that finds joy in seeing you that way.

another day gone by

2009-05-30T16:46:00.000-04:00

i have never been one much for long distance. my entire life, I have been a mover, someone who doesn't settle. why is it that some people don't understand this? my sister was one who never took to moving very well. i am someone that when separated, i just cut off the relationship. you know, i don't know why i do this — most psychologists would say that it's a defense mechanism, I'm sure, but honestly, it's just so formed into my personality that i don't know if i can change. the only people that i've maintained a relationship with is my family. and speaking frankly, when i lived out of state or far away, i really didn't maintain relationships with them either. for some reason, if it isn't in front of me, tangible, my brain cannot follow and be involved. and you know, it's this way for me in other areas. i have a hard time working on projects if i don't have an end goal. if there's no structure, i have a hard time keeping on tract and not wandering.

it's not that i'm interested in other relationships, or want or lust for other people. it's the farthest thing from that. it's just that my love has trouble developing when that person isn't here with me.

i know this sounds like i don't want my boyfriend anymore, and that's the furthest thing from the truth. but talking to him, well — that really doesn't do me any good. he starts to talk in this patronizing tone, which only makes me angry, and and then he tells me that i shouldn't be getting angry, and that's not right. since when is it not right to be angry? i thought it was completely healthy to express your feelings?

and then he starts to act like he's Dr. Phil and knows everything. pish posh. whatever. sometimes it just gets to me when he starts to act superior like he knows better than me, and more than me, and that he knows best. he's NOT my therapist, and to be honest, if he's going to treat me like that, then i think this relationship is headed on a fast track to me always be angry at him. anyone who thinks they can treat me and talk to me like they know better, in a patronizing and condescending way, can pack sand.

Freedom and Journalism

2009-05-25T20:36:00.000-04:00

It has come to my attention exactly what journalism means. I have called myself an aspiring photojournalist for a few years now. Faced with an exciting assignment in Ecuador, this is my chance. But how much it actually relates to my catch-phrase website, actually means more than I originally thought.

I came up with the phrase 'why trust forever to just anyone' in response to being a bridal photographer. A bride's special day is 'forever'. The photos are the only lasting thing that she passes on to her friends, family, children, and grandchildren. Thus, 'why trust forever to just anyone' came about.

But in terms of photojournalism, journalism itself is history. Our blogs, our websites, our news articles are archived for future reference to students, people, children, and our children's children. Journalists of all kinds are responsible for recording history. By finding the facts, by quoting the famous, infamous, and not so famous, by taking pictures (remember, seeing is believing), journalists are historians. We are anthropologists.

As I embark on new trips, international, national, local, whatever and wherever my new career may take me, I suddenly realize that I am recording history. This is my chance, and sometimes the only chance, to get this story right, to get it in a light that makes it interesting in history, and makes it important and worth interest to the people.

As the general population and economists and forecasters look to where journalism is going, don't be so quick to get rid of journalists. The stories that our television reporters receive come from journalists. The cable newscasts that are broadcasted come from journalists. How else will history be recorded and remembered? We are the historians that our forefathers so importantly realized when fighting for the freedom of the press.

So, not only applicable to my weddings, or my senior portraits, or whatever else is on my website, it applies to journalism, and specifically to me, my photojournalism. Why trust forever to just anyone.

Ecuador

2009-05-25T13:19:00.000-04:00

So, planning my trip to Guayaquil, Ecuador. Getting a little nervous about the trip. I received my list of assigned topics that the organization is looking for and I am trying to book a flight that keeps me out of Colombia. I am currently writing my list of goals to present to Michigan State for credit for traveling.

On a side note, I am also trying to plan a trip to Mackinac Island with that boyfriend that claims he's a boyfriend. I wish someone would book a wedding or two so I had some extra cash to plan for a plane ticket and a hotel room in Mackinac. Is it so bad to plan a trip around sex?

A Whirlwind of Events

2009-05-25T13:02:00.001-04:00

What a crazy year. Did I ever imagine that I would be where I am if you had asked me a year ago? Today I got off the phone with a friend of mine. We are both supposed to meet on Mackinac Island in June. She was supposed to take pictures of me and my boyfriend up at Mackinac. Me and my boyfriend were supposed to be living together. Well...supposed to be. About two weeks ago, he decided to move back to Texas.